Is it parental alienation or estrangement? Who gets to decide?

Is it parental alienation or estrangement? Who gets to decide?

The teenager, or adult child, gets to decide if it is parental alienation or estrangement.  

However the problem is UGI,  or unwarranted governmental interference in our family and juvenile dependency courts. UGI is used to separate a young child from his/her parent(s) and/or extended families. UGI essentially promotes parental alienation and then the same professionals that allowed parental alienation against young child (by separating that child from the targeted parent(s)), call it estrangement as the child ages. These same “professionals” then ask the parents for additional funds in order to “cure” the estrangement they helped cause, as alienation, in the young child. It is a very profitable racket. The AFCC (Association of Family and Conciliation Courts) professionals in these courts routinely target one or both parents in these courts for money. They purposefully separate and alienate a child too young to decide for herself/himself from one or both parents and call it estrangement as the child ages for self-serving money for their “services”.

Parental alienation is done purposefully and without warrant to a helpless child to separate him/her from other loving family and/or society in general. The reason why a person (or AFCC professional) would do this to a child? One reason would be to control the child’s mind and thus the child’s body and actions. Another reason is to deeply hurt the targeted parent and use alienation to extract money from that parent.

A child can be quickly alienated, or estranged, from a parent depending on the age of the child and the capability of the child. This unwarranted loss, forcibly imposed on a child, is sometimes unbearable. Their unsophisticated minds can take over their bodies and quickly do what needs to be done, in order to protect the child from the pain of that kind of loss. The child’s mind will also do what needs to be done to protect the child from the one causing them this kind of harm. I’ve watched adults, abused as children, literally fall asleep when exposed to high conflict to avoid it. Their minds’ mechanism of avoiding it has carried over into their adulthood. Read the story of Colleen Stan from Red Bluff, HERE, and get a picture of what alienation can do to an unsophisticated mind (she was already 20 years old). To her own parents, several years later, it looked like estrangement. 


I want to differentiate estrangement from parental alienation. One popular opinion is that an estranged parent is getting what he/she deserves once the child is old enough to formulate their own opinions.  Another opinion is that an estranged parent raised an overly entitled adult child who is now blaming him/her for their lack of happiness, economic security, personal growth, etc.  The estranged child will give reasons that are somewhat realistic but the alienated child will give unwarranted reasons or have no realistic reasons at all. The question is, who gets to decide? Ultimately the adult child decides because we live in a country that is supposed to be FREE FROM UGI. 

Parental Alienation 

I follow the case of Patricia (“Patty”) Hearst from time to time. Parry’s case was clearly one of alienation and not of estrangement. Patty is the granddaughter of publisher William Randolph Hearst, one of five sisters. Patty was 19 when she was kidnapped by Donald DeFreeze from her apartment where she lived with her fiancé as a sophomore at the University of Berkeley. DeFreeze was the leader of a fake organization called the Symbionese Liberation Army. DeFreeze told Patty to “accommodate” her mind to think like his after being confined in a closet for weeks and threatened. So she did. She was given daily duties which included accommodating being raped. She was then taught how to use weapons and called Tania. Defreeze ordered Patty to believe that her parents were “bad” because they only gave away $2 million dollars to help feed the hungry in exchange for her safe return but refused to give another $6 million when DeFreeze demanded that they do more. It is common for an alienating adult to order a child to acknowledge and believe that he/she is the “good” person and the other side is “bad” as if the alienating adult was still in grade school.

Within about two months of being taken, Patty was caught on video holding a semi-automatic gun helping her captors rob a bank. One month later, she was seen shooting up the storefront of a Mel’s Sporting Goods located in Inglewood California to let one of her captives, William, escape after he had been caught by the manager for theft. DeFreeze was soon killed by police but Patty stayed with her captors anyways. Less than 20 months after her kidnapping, Patty was located by the FBI and she told them, “Don’t shoot, I’ll go with you”. She was booked into jail facing five counts of assault with a deadly weapon with the intent to commit murder, four counts of robbery, three counts of auto theft and two counts of kidnapping. Her comment? “Tell everybody that I’m smiling, that I feel free and strong and I send my greetings and love to all the sisters and brothers out there” Her appearance? She had dropped to 87 pounds, was tested with low IQ, smoked heavily, and acted lethargic “like a low-affect zombie”. There were huge gaps in her memory and she had repeated nightmares. All signs of the mind controlling her brain and her body. The jail doctors drugged her. The easy solution, right? The drugs made her appear even more zombie like at her trial. The federal case was the United States of America v. Patricia Campbell Hearst, No. 74-364 and she was guilty of horrific crimes, like too many other alienated children. Many of them, by the time 20 months have passed, no longer care about their own life, but they are angry for what happened to them and for the failure of the alienated parents to have protected them. Terms such as the Stockholm Syndrome, brainwashing, etc. have been used to describe alienation but I call it survival.  It’s what a child’s mind automatically does in order to protect their bodies. It’s self-preservation and its hard for an alienated child to change his/her mind even after he/she becomes an adult. I have a friend who watched her husband’s mind buckle his knees. His mind wouldn’t let him stand up in order to walk across a glass bridge, with the Grand Canyon below him, so he crawled across it instead. 

Other people will say it’s “all in your mind”  but that’s enough to cause lifelong damage.

We repeatedly remind people that Adam Lanza shot and killed his own mother before driving her car to Sandy Hook Elementary School and opening fire on unrelated children. This was less than 24 months after Adam had stopped responding to his father’s emails, had refused to go to his father’s house, and had refused to allow his father to visit him at his mother’s house (according to Adam’s mother). Adam had also completely separated himself from his only friend, and had stopped communicating with his brother. This was all within three years after his parent’s divorce and he had been frequently left home alone as a result of the divorce. Adam got revenge against his absent brother, by using his brother’s ID at the school, before committing suicide. Could Adam’s father and/or brother have made a difference? Did Adam kill his mother because of the divorce and because she had alienated him from his father, brother, and friend? We don’t know, but we do know we want to #StopParentalAlienation.

Patty had friends and family that didn’t give up on her. At Patty’s federal trial, her cousin, William Randolph Hearst II was there for her, on the verge of tears for most of the trial. They had been close friends less than 24 months earlier. So many alienated children need extended family members who the alienator didn’t cause their mind to reject. However, most  family don’t understand what has happened and they reject the child. William didn’t reject Patty. However, Patty was found guilty and sentenced to 35 years in prison by a judge who had slept during her trial having found her guilty before it even began. That judge died before he could sentence Patty and the succeeding judge gave her 7 years instead. In 1979, President Jimmy Carter commuted her prison term.

 Patty’s case brought mind control by an alienator into mainstream media.

Where is Patty now and is she maintaining relationships with her family? Patty initially continued to reject her family and married her bodyguard. It is not uncommon for alienated children to find trust in strangers that rescue them and give them control over their own lives again. However, Patty is now the vice president of corporate security for the Hearst Corporation and a proud grandmother. Obviously, Patricia’s story of alienation is unique but the message is not. It is NOT difficult to take control of a young child’s mind and convince them to reject the love and commitment of a parent. It is even easier to do this if their survival depends solely on the abuser. A parent that wants to take this even a step further and destroy the other parent by using the child? Horrific consequences that can last for generations to come and it can be done in less than 2 years.

What is RaiseYourRights doing to #StopParentalAlienation? Step number one is to keep both sides of the family involved in a child’s life by giving parents in California jury trial rights as a layer of protection to keep custody of their own children. Non-custodial parent’s visitation rights are fragile and a non-custodial parent’s ability to be there for the child when it’s needed, is often restricted by a judge’s orders. California shared parenting laws require judges to presume a parent is suitable raise their own child and to give children “frequent and continuing contact with both parents” which is the best way to combat parental alienation. Step number two is to remove all members of the Association of Family and Conciliation Court from parents’ cases in both the family and juvenile dependency courts. The AFCCnet of colluding judges, attorneys, psychologists, social workers, etc. have taken almost complete control of California’s family and juvenile dependency courts and their first step is always to hold the child(ren) hostage for money until a parent is evaluated for “fitness”. Oftentimes separating a child from a loved/loving parent for much longer time than 24 months. Patty and Adam were separated from their respective parent(s) for less that 24 months. 

For more information on this epidemic and how to prevent alienation. Please click HERE

Join RaiseYourRights to help stop the separation of children from their parents with jury trial rights. Help stop unwarranted governmental interference(UGI) in families.